Mention tantra, and you’ll probably get the response that having sex for seven hours sounds really unappealing—as mythologized by an off-hand Sting quote from 1990 that still dominates the entire conversation about this ancient practice. So, what exactly is tantra? We were surprised to find that it’s not actually about sex at all—or specifically, not at all about sexual technique. It’s really about the bedrock of intimacy—and re-establishing sexual polarity, or in laymen terms, sexual tension. As Michaela Boehm, who lectures and teaches seminars about the subject, explains, “Many of the couples who come to me have stopped having sex altogether—it’s really about the building the basics of intimacy, of opening our eyes.”
Tantra as it is seen in the West is very different from the original ways it was practiced. It is essentially a tradition in which awakening is pursued through embodiment (vs. disembodiment in meditation, etc.) and union is sought through relationship and intimacy. In the West it has been mostly pursued for its emphasis on using sexual union as one of the vehicles to awakening (enlightenment). In reality, only a small portion of tantra has anything to do with sex, and only as a way to merge with the divine. There is a much larger tantric discipline that deals with allowing all feelings to be met with equal acceptance, and for each person to become deeply sensitive to what they are feeling. Subsequently, they are then able to feel others and their needs.
Sessions are individualized depending on what the person or couple needs. Both in sessions and workshops there is no sexually explicit touching, no nudity and strict rules to ensure safety and maximum freedom in applying the techniques used. All the practices I teach are energetic in nature and can be done fully clothed. In personal sessions I might give the couple homework and assignments. In workshops I teach how to create intimacy and how to revive or increase sexual chemistry.